HOSPICE – a guest post by Lori Soneson Odhner

Lori & her husband, John, are the tender holders of the marriages in our local church – they seem like one angel more than two heart-graced humans.  She wrote this beautiful tribute about a married couple I’ve known all my life; song birds who embody virtues to which I aspire, yet they never seemed puffed up.  They breathe love.

John and I went to sit with a woman whose husband of sixty six years is dying. I say dying as if it is permanent. But death is as much of a ruse as the sun coming up this morning. That golden orb couldn’t rise because it didn’t actually sink down. The sun does not revolve around us. Never has.

The wife who has lived and loved and laughed with one precious man for two thirds of a century can barely leave his side to go to sleep. Only after she has tucked him in, kissed his sallow cheek, and recited the prayer loud enough for both of them, can she shuffle to the elevator and push the button. Turn the ignition and drive home. Except that home is where her husband is. And he is on the third floor, eyes closed, just past a sign that has that final sounding hush.

HOSPICE

Probably there have been very few midnights that they were not side by side. Maybe a couple dozen. But now she is thrust into the entryway of widowhood. She must learn to make one sandwich. Pour one glass of juice. Not call into the other room with a question. Sleep in the middle of the bed.

There are pictures in their apartment of the two of them. Photographs of white weddings, and pink cheeked grandchildren in their laps. Proof of their trips to Singapore, and Alaska, England, and Vermont. Snapshots of them cross country skiing in their seventies, with arms still strong enough to push the poles across the glistening snow of upstate New York. Family portraits with his kind eyes crinkled in song.

Yet pictures will never be enough.

Their son sat with us by the bed, and he picked up the guitar. His fingers knew their way across the fret board, while his low voice crooned the words of what was happening right before us.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life,
You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Black bird fly, black bird fly
Into the light of the dark black night

I can only imagine what he will feel like when his eyes open like orbs, and his spirit takes flight beyond the horizon. Yet part of him will be looking over his shoulders, now supple, waiting for her to come too.

Heaven would not be heaven without her.

Love,

Lori

First the Pain, Then the Rising – Glennon Melton Doyle

It was my blessing to be introduced last year – right around this time – to Glennon without knowing anything about her history, to read Love Warrior on the heels of Carry On, Warrior.

If you don’t know Glennon, don’t take my route – jump right in, with this wonderful video, First the Pain, Then the Rising.

 

SYNTHESIZER

SYNTHESIZER – an electronic musical instrument, typically operated by a keyboard, producing a wide variety of sounds by generating and combining signals of different frequencies.

Let’s tweak that – a synthesizer is someone operated by a set of values & a brace of visions which produce a wide range of energies allowing them to generate combine manifest an abundance of wonders.

That works for me.

Up to middish July 2017, my life was spent accumulating (knowledge, awareness, skills & graces); doing a lot of pondering on purpose; reaching & extending.  Near the end of July, my life swung out of there into here – where I’ve stepped away from accumulating new to a state of synthesizing what I already have.

For example – I am seriously struggling to find income-producing work, so am hunkering down for the next weeks with three books:  Todd Henry’s DIE EMPTY, Darren Hardy’s THE COMPOUND EFFECT, Karen Sands” THE AGELESS WAY.  It is my sense that those three – already read, pointing in the direction I want to be fully headed – will put me in a setting for new awareness around money, around what I do best, on being valued for what I offer.

Taking what I have & focusing it on small, repetitive steps that lead to a panoply of fabulous stand-alone & progressive goals ~AND~ not taking the dork steps that draw me farther & farther away from that goal – that is Step One of my synthesizing NOW.

THIS is what everything has been about, always & forever.

I can’t put into words what wants to be said – I don’t talk speak Spirit proficiently. Synthesizing is EVERYTHING, it always has been.  Taking what we have & serving it for a grand purpose, a greater good.  From Day One.  To forever.