Growing up & deep into adulthood, my core inclination bent toward cooperation & collaboration, but distorting messages received (perhaps not intentionally sent), left my vision distorted, my emotions messed up.
Took me close to sixty years to wake up to my true nature; here I be, at sixty-six & dealing with creating instilling cementing the empowering core habits to back up my here & now acceptance of a long muddled self.
For well over fifty years, I was entrenched in SEEING myself as a go-it-aloner kinda gal, even when what I was DOing said otherwise. That aggressively warped sight doesn’t immediately vanish with aha awareness of reality. It can be obvious that poor care has left an apple tree unable to bear the abundance of fruit natural for its ideal location & rich soil, but it takes more than the strongest good intentions to restore the damaged tree to its true nature – it requires a skilled arborist to reclaim its health.
These are emotionally perilous days. I came to the end of my 42-year quest for balance/alignment to find myself facing the gut-wrenching work of pruning away my stunted grow, which still too often persists in bending me AWAY rather TOWARD stated goals, then nurturing new productive habits that will help my dreams goals plans come to glorious fruition.
FACT : I’ve come to the end of where >I< – solo, on my own – can tap into book audio video mentors to empower great deep forever change. Now, I need more. To change my HABITS requires a form of skilled spiritual emotional mental arborist to help restore the visible, fruit-bearing parts of my psyche, to get back in sync with my healthy, deeply-planted roots.
Consider this my “help wanted” ad. My season is now; I am eager to bear much fruit.