The Instigator

My sister often told people that she’d throw me the ball & I would run with it.  For years, I’d reply, “Only because she refused to catch it when I’d throw it back.”

Mim was remarkably clever, coming up with some real wowsers of ideas.  But her joy was in getting the idea, the rush of psychic energy as seeing in her mind’s eye the idea made incarnate.

In Mim’s experience, following through with an idea to completion was almost always a disappointment.  The end product was never as good as what was in her head, therefore a let down.

While Mim was my original roll model of awesome creativity, she did NOT throw me ideas.  I came up with my own.  And, unlike my older sister, I made them happen.  Because, unlike my sister, I am an flagrant instigator who makes things happen.  And encourages others to go & do likewise.

Just as it took 60+ years to accept myself as an innovator, it took me over four decades to STOP saying “Oh, my sister would have done it better” when complimented on a creative accomplishment.  Make that over fifty years ago.  Shed no tears for the clueless earlier moi – the super cool thing about I did figure it out, I am having all the fun & frolic of accepting myself as creative, that we are all born creative, that my being creative does NOT diminish anyone else’s creativity.

Life is not a competition – it’s a collaboration.

I believe in creative energies, that they fill & swirl around all of us, from wee baby to ancient.  When I get an idea that has value to me & deserves my engagement & energies, something is lost if I don’t follow through with it.  Lost to me & lost to the world, the cosmos.  People need to dream big dreams & go for them.  They might not work out, but the final outcome isn’t the actual reality – the reality are the energies that went into the pursuit.  Those are the things that outlast any final product.

Mim was wrong – I did not run with her ideas.  Her creativity helped spark her baby sister’s, who now seeks to light others on fire with their own inner blaze to go after that thing on their horizon that beckons & shouts & demands in ways that only a heart’s desire can.

Cyber Access for the Technically Timid, Values Vision Dreams, my blogs, releasing my Inner Molly, acting as a magnet for The Whole Elder Catalog, putting on A Creativity Jam for Age Justice, presenting at the Lyceum Positive Aging Conference with Connie Corley.  Those are all things this instigator seeks to make so, but the most real thing about each them, the thing that is forever, are the energies I invest in them to draw them out of the possible & into the now.

My sister was an instigator, stirring me up to a fierceness of engaged energies fully realizing that the final product rarely matches our highest hope BUT the product isn’t the actual end – engaging energies to point zero is the all in all.

That’s why age doesn’t matter.  Years are nothing, physical frailty & debility is nothing, lack of education or wretched finances are nothing.  Energy is the everything to the enlightened instigator.

Author: auntdeev

playfulness coach, life enthusiast & general instigator, ENTJ, cat lover

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