About three weeks shy of turning 66, I find it sobering –and– exhilarating to realize that two (2!) foundational stories of the past 28 years are wrong wrong wrong. Ouch!
From before we were hitched, I’ve said that John would do ANYTHING for me – – as long as it was convenient. Spotted early in our relationship, the dynamic is still unchanged. EXCEPT it turns out that it’s not the dynamic story I told myself & bleated to John countless times over almost 30 years.
A couple days ago, something relatively innocuous made me realize that something in my beloved Keet holds him back from going from stimulus to independent thought. My Budgie is literally thought-less – – not as in uncaring or not giving a thought to me, which is sure how it feels. He doesn’t have the thought.
Explains why in our Mutual Support Group or Journeys circle he ALWAYS gives as a recent stand-out moment something that includes me, often repeating the same thing week after week. It drove me nuts, but now I get it. He wasn’t being lazy or shifting responsibility. When I ranted in November & December about him lacking an inner core, it was right but not really. John has an inner core, he just has a mile-high defensive perimeter around it which he defends with utmost vigilance.
Different story, different impact, on both of us. He’s not being grossly thoughtless; he’s literally thought-less. It explains so much – maybe everything – that’s driven me up a wall. All due to a shift in a story.
The second foundational story that now bends in a different direction is one I’ve told myself & others about my relationship to money & success. Since my twenties, I’ve been aware that money messages in our family were messed up & garbled. The way I’ve described it for decades, using our best friends in the Universe as an example, is that where a challenge energizes them, gets their vision focus adrenaline pumping, with me it hit the pause button, sending me into immediate enervation. In my mind, it came down to lucky them, woeful me.
Give that pitiful assumption the boot! Reading the intro to Jen Sincero’s You Are A Badass At Making Money, it’s clear I am not among the disadvantaged few – – our friends are among the rarities who seem to have received positive messages around money, its powers & limitation.
I am a slow learner, but I am persistent & will, in time, get it. My introduction to the concept of money as energy was Marie Nemeth’s The Energy of Money. In spite of having two copies, the core messages didn’t fully sink in. It was interesting theory, but seeing myself as a fiscal misfit was enough excuse to not see its personal application.
Jen doesn’t leave any easy out. Our friends aren’t the norm – – we are. Jen speaks from experience – – she KNEW she was meant for a much bigger life than the one she’d settled for, BUT even deeper down than that was her “not me” default.
Oh, do I know about that! Something I know for absolute sure – – in spite of all the successes I’ve racked over the years, from coming up with Brand Voice Bulletin ~to~ planning our wondrous wedding ~to~ getting Anne Hyatt to ask a server nicely for something, my go-to default was still “not me.”
Until last night, when I read: “Deep down I knew I was meant for, and wanted, bigger things. I’d get all excited hearing about someone’s cool job as a globe-trotting journalist or hanging out at someone’s beachfront house & think, ‘This! This could be me!’ And instead of using that excitement to propel myself into action, I immediately started talking myself out of it.”
Yikes! I am not alone! More than that, it turns out that resisting fabulous seems to be a terrible glitch built into the standard operating equipment that activates with our first breath. And glitch it is – a systems problem that a strategic patch can fix.
If Ashton can write a paradigm-shifting book, without any credentialed experience as an eldercare specialist, accomplished that astonishing feat by being fully who she is, seeing fully what she saw, and believing enough in herself & her message to self-publish her culture-reshaping book, then in less than a year went from unknown to a presenter on THE TED stage, why not me?
Our reason for existing is be fully who we are, see fully through our eyes, letting it manifest in whatever forms best suit us, be it a peerless apple pie, a meme-altering book or a program spinning socializing into social networking (MINE).
Two foundational stories totally unraveled over the past few days, leaving strands to be rewoven into new dreams goals accomplishments.
In three weeks, I flip the old-o-meter to 66. 2017 was my Year of Rising Strong, 2018 is my Year of Daring Greatly. Development, then action. New stories, new routes – – create & follow my own Route 66.
New stories, new possibilities for newly empowered minds hearts spirits. And a moment of contemplation, wondering which other foundational stories are as off base as those two were. Be open to new perspective & fresh interpretation – life will never be dull!