Loving where my thoughts meander

My butt is weary from hours sitting, writing my previous post.  Am hungry – never start writing before breakfast.  And I am still here, still tip tapping away to capture the fresh appreciation of my life that came with a whooosh as I wrote about the power of affirmations.  See, I  came to understand their pow while teaching science & health at a high school for at-risk kids.

In my fifties.

With no science background other than a Psych 101 college class.

This was a couple years after being shown the door from a corporate position where I’d been named employee of THAT year, apparently because I’d had the affrontery to make use of the Family & Medical Leave Act  after Mom took a fall in late July & was gone by mid-September.

The last thing I expected to be doing at this point in my life is eldercare.  Elder support was what I did for my Mom because no one else stepped up; I did it because I had to, not because it beckoned.

It never dawned on me that tootling around back roads, discovering delightful destinations & cozy cafes would ever be key to the value I bring to my work.

Mim was the leader, I was the logical winner of a Follower of the Year award.  Being in the forefront, a point person, never dawned on me.

Nothing in my life worked out the way I’d expected, from the calamitous (being booted from my teaching job for being too much of an outlier) to the glorious (loving & being loved by my John).

And everything worked out BEAUTIFULLY, from my fractious family relationships to my roller coaster job history to connecting with the late great Anne Hyatt – – all steps that got me HERE, training I couldn’t see as it was happening but is clear looking back.

A daily devotional from Charles Swindoll hits the nail on the head for why all of my experiences over the past 17+ years cemented my faith in a Great Spirit, a Divine Power behind my life.  Even events that made NO sense – seemed crazed – as they were happening can be seen as the wilder sections of my life path:

Providence. We toss the word around. But have you ever analyzed it?

It comes from the Latin, providentia. Pro means “before” or “ahead of time”; videntia is from videre, meaning “to see.” . . . Put them together and you have “seeing ahead of time,” which is what Almighty God does. God sees the events of life ahead of time—something that we of course can never do.

We’re great at history. Our hindsight is almost always 20/20. But we’re lousy at prophecy, that is, the specifics of the future.

Stop and think. We’ve no clue as to what will happen one minute from now, no idea what’s going to happen next. But our invisible God, in Divine providentia, is continually, constantly, and confidently at work . . .

We can only see providence in hindsight.  I can testify to that.  For my first 25+ years, life seemed manageable, predictable, something where I made a plan, followed it & achieved intended goals.  By thirty, that expectation was blown out of the water.  The older I get, the more appreciation I gain for how little I know & how piddly our best-laid plans often are.  And that it’s essential to still keep making them!

THAT’s why I had such a negative response to the positive affirmation website that had oldsters elders ancients seeing their best selves in terms of young youth youthful.  Sheez, are they off the mark!

At 65, I’m just waiting with a big grin for whatever shows up next, disaster or delight.  Someone who is the ultimate WOW is continually, constantly, confidently at work.  Bring it on!

Author: auntdeev

playfulness coach, life enthusiast & general instigator, ENTJ, cat lover

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