Back so soon? Chapter 11 – “Your Brain is Your Bitch,” page 94

In You Are A Badass*, Jen Sincero shares a super short platitude – Your thoughts & beliefs dictate your reality.  Some people might even call it trite, but as the valedictorian at my sister’s 1981 NYU graduation captured it:  “Trite IS true” –  such sayings are repeated over & over because they’re right.

For some whackadoodle reason that most people might find whifty, my thoughts & beliefs, from my earliest days, focused on whole & healthy relationships.  (And I do mean my earliest days.)  What astonishing irony to have been born into a family of siblings beset with a predisposition to disconnection, a proclivity for snark & cynicism, a preternatural tendency to diss themselves even as they struck superior poses.  {Well, at least two of them.)  There I was, believing in a family that didn’t believe in me. That sounds ghastly – it just feels normal, because thus it has always been.  But hey – they don’t see themselves as connected within, a part of family, either.  (My sister seemed to feel set apart from EVERYONE  – – made me want to wrap her in unwanted hugs.)

Mind you, my guess is my sibs would share a different recollection of family experiences, with storylines where I am the toxic, messed up one.  And that would be every bit as real to them as the other interpretation is to me.

Thank heavens, for the purpose of what’s discussed here, the truth (or the most apt shading of it) is moot.  What matters is that their thoughts & beliefs dictate their reality, just as mine does.

Is it possible that both myself & my sibs are focused on healthy, whole relationships, but we operate from different understandings of what they are, how they are experienced & felt?  YEP!

Ain’t relationships grand & gritty?!


Defining BADASS –  a person who is independent & competent enough to do what they want, regardless of whether it’s popular, or even allowed.  A badass is someone who rolls up her sleeves, knows what she wants to do, is open to the risks & flat-out goes for it.  Who can laugh at themselves while taking their pursuit seriously, love themselves & others, who are wise enough to “rejoice in the cosmic ridiculousness” of it all.


Author: auntdeev

playfulness coach, life enthusiast & general instigator, ENTJ, cat lover

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