The Winner! HOW TO BE AN ADULT ~ You Come Too

Actually, I was!  What a terrific experience, reviewing two books that shifted my life, neither of which I’d reviewed in well over ten years.

The face-off between How To Be An Adult or Shadow Dancing  to see which made it onto my list of 25 books was both basic common sense & WOW inspired.  And  provides a template for introducing each of the others!

Presenting what strike me as key points of the two David Richo books was POWerful.  Did it for practical reasons, but the emotional spiritual practical returns were immediate.


Hit me – for the first time – that the gift received from David Richo & so many others is LANGUAGE.  Stunned by experiencing the array of words phrases concepts in such a short, concentrated, public way.  Shook me awake to how they gave me the words to drape around the experienced but still nebulous.

Every step along the path is sacred.”  Spot on!  Nothing was wasted, not a single moment, not a single year.  It all unfolded in its time.  Wouldn’t have made a lick of difference if I’d taken a full load of psych classes in college – the thinking that set my messy (but not messed up) life right hadn’t started raising its head into the popular culture until 1976, the first year of my quest; the wave of books that set me on the path to Now only started its surge in 1989, the year my quest gained a partner.

All that was needed was trust & action – expending effort so grace could take over.

Why How To Be An Adult rather than the deeper, richer in insights Shadow Dancing?  Two reasons: initial impact & simplicity.

For initial impact, think which ranks higher in educational importance – primary school or high school?  High school involves higher levels of learning & understanding, but our primary school years are where we learned the basics of learning on which all else is built – can’t tackle algebra & geometry without first learning how to count & the times tables.  Teach us our alphabet & numbers, how to read & add 2 + 2 and watch us take off.

There’s no overrating simplicity.  Picking out David Richo nuggets that helped my life gain sounder grounding is easier in Adult than in Dance.

In closing, here are a scattering of nuggets that underscore my basic task -and- how adding John to the mix helped get me to this first full stop:

Circumstance & crises help us advance on our path, as long as we integrate them rather than interrupting them.

Our task is to let go & hold on at the same time.

Our effortful steps are advanced by an effortless shift…  (It) defines the truly heroic – putting out the effort to live through pain & to be spontaneously transformed by doing so.

The love & pain of the past are directly connected to the love & pain of the present.  A relationship can put us in the best possible position to do personal work.  Our partner stimulates the love & pain and then – optimally – supports us in healthy responses to them.

The experience of choice combined with support from others offers the best conditions for departure from the depressing sense of being a victim.  Instead, you get on with life in a powerful, adult & confident way.

Every step on the path is sacred.

It doesn’t matter how much a person wants to identify/address/resolve core issues if s/he is living in an environment that won’t or can’t allow it.

We expend effort & then grace takes over.

The ego’s ultimate work is to create enough sane ground so that the Self can grow its single unperishable Rose that lives by light.

We need all of our life experiences to become as emotionally & spiritually rich as we are.

The starting point of our love for others is our sane & fearless love for ourselves.  




Author: auntdeev

playfulness coach, life enthusiast & general instigator, ENTJ, cat lover

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